computer jargon quick hitters

THIS GAME WANTS ME TO ENABLE SECURE BOOT. WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?

Secure boot is a Windows thing, full stop. It is a hidden setting that you have to open your BIOS to find which essentially only allowed your computer to boot (start up) from a verified operating system.

OKAY WHAT THE FUCK IS THE BIOS?

BIOS (Basic Input/Output System) is something that comes pre-installed on nearly every computer's motherboard. When you start your computer, it starts the BIOS, and then your BIOS starts the operating system you have installed. Generally this process happens automatically. But if you need to change settings, want to start from a different operating system, or in EXTREME changes need to troubleshoot, you can open the BIOS menu and do that manually. Opening the BIOS menu involves pressing a specific key at the very, VERY first screen you see after turning on your computer (like the Dell logo, the HP logo, or something else). This key is different for many computers, so you'll have to look it up. Mine is F2.

I'M TRYING TO INSTALL A PROGRAM ON MY LINUX COMPUTER BUT IT ONLY LISTS THREE OPTIONS FOR OPERATING SYSTEMS?

You want Debian. Pretty much always. Almost every first-timer's Linux distro is built on Debian. If you needed Fedora or Arch, you'd know.

WEBSITES KEEP USING WORDS AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY MEAN.

That happens a lot. It drives me insane how even the most "beginner friendly" guide to computers uses words that an average user does not understand. Here is an incomplete list of some words you might see used:

• BOOT: The series of processes that run from the moment you power on your computer to when you see your log-in screen. Many of them run automatically in the background over the course of a couple of minutes.
• OPEN-SOURCE: A term used to describe a non-propreitary program where anyone can contribute to its development. And I mean anyone. Often, but not always, more barebones than the propreitary offering but also significantly more reliable.
• DISTRO: Short for distribution; the term used to refer to Linux operating systems.
• FORK: A programming term used to refer to a duplicate of an existing code or program that is then edited and developed separately from the original. A lot of Linux distros are initially forks of older distros. The silverware drawer is very complex. There are a couple of "forks" of Firefox, for example, that run like older versions of Firefox and do not have the AI features enabled.
• ROOT: The Linux term for the administrator. They are the user that has full control over every file and program on the computer, and I do mean every single one. You might be familiar with needing to run a program as the administrator on Windows, which gives you permission to do things that affect your computer at a deeper level than just editing a Word document. Running as root on Linux is the same thing.